Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tuesday's Mental Musings

For a few brief moments I was someone's fantasy. Who I truly was didn't matter. Who he wanted me to be was all that did and I hated it. I hated the fact that eventually the reality of me would undo all that was being built around those expectations. I hated the fact that there was no way that I could ever live up to his ideal even though there was a part of me that wished I could or wished I wanted to. In truth it was his fantasy and it was his right to choose the players that made it but after a few brief moments of consideration I made the choice not to participate. It was not an easy decision.

For a few brief moments I considered playing along. I considered allowing the situation to be sustained by illusions despite knowing that they would eventually become too heavy to carry and the fantasy would crumble.  I toyed with the idea that perhaps aspects of who he wanted me to be were untapped resources even though I am pretty confident about who I am and the potential that lies (or is that lays?) within. In the end I realized if I continued to play along it would still be just a fantasy, just mine rather than his.

Now there is nothing wrong with having a fantasy. Most reality is built on such things and when we project our desires out into the universe we are often rewarded with what it is we want. The issue occurs when we project our desires upon others without taking into consideration that who they are is a complex gift given with time and investment and who they are may temper our fantasies as well as our reality. It is in that projection and grasping of what we desire without consideration for those at hand that the truth of a person can be ignored leaving the fantasy that is the foundation of our reality without truth to sustain what wants to be made real.


Steve said...

This just begs for asking for details! I'd be thrilled to have you as a short term fantasy! :)

kerfuffler said...

Because you asked, I will tell you your first instinct was right-----it is 'lies', not 'lays' in this context.

You are probably only doubting yourself because so many people use the two words incorrectly. For anyone who wants to know, correct usage is to say, "I lie down", and "something just lies there", in the present tense.

In the past tense, "I just lay there", and "he, she or it just lay there", are all correct.

The only time you use 'lay' in the present tense is when you are setting something else (a direct object) down. "Lay all the packages on the table in the hall", or "I lay eggs down gently to avoid breakage."

The past of 'lay' is 'laid'. "He laid the packages on the table.

It was a pleasure to read your correct usage! ;)

Simone said...

Thanks Ker..Always open to learning about the proper use of our language..words, their use and communication are an amazing thing!!

Steve..have some Cous-Cous..lol

kerfuffler said...

Oh, and the cous-cous sounds amazing.

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