For a few brief moments I was someone's fantasy. Who I truly was didn't matter. Who he wanted me to be was all that did and I hated it. I hated the fact that eventually the reality of me would undo all that was being built around those expectations. I hated the fact that there was no way that I could ever live up to his ideal even though there was a part of me that wished I could or wished I wanted to. In truth it was his fantasy and it was his right to choose the players that made it but after a few brief moments of consideration I made the choice not to participate. It was not an easy decision.
For a few brief moments I considered playing along. I considered allowing the situation to be sustained by illusions despite knowing that they would eventually become too heavy to carry and the fantasy would crumble. I toyed with the idea that perhaps aspects of who he wanted me to be were untapped resources even though I am pretty confident about who I am and the potential that lies (or is that lays?) within. In the end I realized if I continued to play along it would still be just a fantasy, just mine rather than his.
Now there is nothing wrong with having a fantasy. Most reality is built on such things and when we project our desires out into the universe we are often rewarded with what it is we want. The issue occurs when we project our desires upon others without taking into consideration that who they are is a complex gift given with time and investment and who they are may temper our fantasies as well as our reality. It is in that projection and grasping of what we desire without consideration for those at hand that the truth of a person can be ignored leaving the fantasy that is the foundation of our reality without truth to sustain what wants to be made real.