Friday, September 18, 2009

Tuesday's Mental Musings On A Friday

I know a woman that jeopardized her marriage for the possibility of a love affair with a man half her age. It was never physical. The affair was virtual and one of the mind. She invested her time and intent into it. While involved with this young man those around her who were truly present in the flesh were going through changes. And though she was physically present I suspect the distraction prevented her from truly understanding what she was missing and losing and more importantly learning. Perhaps it made her life easier but I suspect the drama it brought into her life distracted her from the reality of the life she made and the things she couldn’t control. She lied to herself that he was her friend but in the end his concern wasn’t about her well being but about the stroking of his ego, an ego many others were and are still stroking. She continues to be his friend, in secret because those of us who know or knew her believed she and her spouse deserve better. She does not. She continues to chase and find relief in a dream.

At one time or another we have all made choices to allow ourselves to be distracted by things that are shinier and more promising than our lives. We cannot judge others for their choices even when we are involved in them, but we can learn from them. We can learn that we must decide on our own and with all considered whether or not where we are is truly where we want to be. We can learn that having it all is more often than not worse than having nothing at all. We can understand that by not committing ourselves 100 percent to a situation we have elected to be in we are not truly honoring it, ourselves or those who are present in it with us. We can learn we must make choices that support our lives even if they are in transition. We can learn that in the end even if we choose to remove ourselves from our reality that it affects the life we are truly living and the lives around us. We can learn that by letting go of those who have invested in us and our causes when we find we cannot be honest and respectful of their needs might be the right thing to do because they too deserve the right to a reality based on truth and honesty even if they themselves didn’t give the same to us. We can learn that we deserve more.

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