Mental Musings on a Sunday Morning..

There are times when we truly try to change. We wake that morning believing who and what we are can be altered by our sheer will to become and then, because we are not lucky enough to understand that old cliché “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, we never give ourselves the time and patience to proceed with the steady steps needed to manifest those changes. Instead we fall.


Most of us return to the old patterns of behavior that distracted us to where we were or from where we wanted to be in the first place never allowing ourselves to realize the reality we wanted to shape.

Some of us, the lucky ones, get back up again and begin to focus on the small steps, the day to day, in some cases, the hour to hour, and start the journey, over and over again if need, in order to achieve our set goals. Unlike those of us that choose to repeat and continue to live our history those of us who accomplish or more importantly sustain our changes push aside our egos and understand that it sometimes took a life time to become who and what we didn’t want to be and that it’s only through determination and patience that we can unravel that identity and the patterns of our behavior and change. More importantly we begin to understand that it is only through self forgiveness and sometimes the forgiveness of others, even if that forgiveness takes forever to come, that we can reach pass our narrow view of our selves, regardless of how grand we believe ourselves to be, and dissect who we are to become who we truly are or what we desire to be. Sometimes in doing so we learn to accept who we are and come to understand that the change we seek supports that person.

Those of us who actually change the part of ourselves that can change, in my opinion behavior and reaction patterns, take on board that we can only do so by accepting that we are not gods. We cannot, regardless of how much money we have or spend or how many degrees line our walls or how beautiful in form we appear to be, wave our hands and make that which offends us go away. We are human and are meant to experience all the nuances of this thing called life. We are human and we are stuck in the shit and the mud. We are human and we make mistakes and sometimes from those mistakes change and beauty comes.