A few Tuesdays ago I mulled over the idea of not telling people the status of your relationship situation and wondered what was so complicated about owning it. I tried to look at if from every angle though the piece I wrote clearly doesn't support keeping it "complicated". I have come to the conclusion that keeping it complicated is a way of maintaining control and power, which amuses me because in the end that power and control can't be maintained because of the complexity of the illusion and at some point the illusion exposes itself for the thin veil it is.
From what I have observed of my own life and the lives of others, and this is my point of view, there are times our situations are often illusions to begin with. Consider this, if it is true that we can never know anyone but our selves then we can ever truly know others beyond who or what they show us they are via action and word. We can know their habits and behaviors and aspects of their core based on what they choose to expose but knowing the depth of their individuality is never possible. We can draw conclusions based on observations but are they truly valid if they aren't supported by the individuals choice to confirm them? We all bring hopes and expectations to a situation but those situations are changed and altered by the behavior and expectations of those involved. Often our connections and understandings are based on the illusion of who and what we want and expect them and it to be. Sometimes if we are lucky, and observant, we meet and invest in people and situations that are as real and honest about who and what they are as they can be. Often in our search for self, or avoidance of self, we are prevented from seeing their "truth" and we only see what we want to see instead of truly seeing what is in front of us. But then isn't life created by desire which first manifests itself as an illusion before becoming reality?
We each have a list of desires regarding the the types of relationships and life we want. We hold that list up against those who cross our paths and situations that come into our lives not only in comparison but often in a vain attempt to conform that person and our situations to match it. Exactly when that list is held up it is an indivudal choice of course, but whether it's in the beginning, end or middle at some point we always, always, question if what and who we are doing is fulfilling us. It is that questioning that often reveals whether or not the life we are living is in fact the "reality" we crave or if it is a illusion based on that desire.
Trust me, I don't believe there is anything wrong with having a list. I have one myself. I do believe that instead of stopping when we realize the person or situation that we are comparing to it is never going to meet any of the criteria set we often overlook the mismatch and continue to invest, contort, manipulate and dream of making them who and making it what we want. Rather than walking away and/or taking a long hard look at our list and our lives to determine what is truly valid and what no longer applies we blame the person or situation and almost never admit our part in creating the illusion.
Coming to terms with the idea that manifesting reality is constant struggle between acceptance and understanding of what is and what can and cannot be is a constant in living a life. If we are lucky they go hand in hand. This doesn't mean that we should only define our lives based on our lists or that our lists shouldn't be valid in determining our lives, but it does mean that we should take off our glasses of judgement, whose perscriptions often reflect the things and expectations on those lists, and attempt to see the reality others are living or striving to live before putting them back on in order to decide whether or not we should continue on this journey together and whether the illusions hinder or help us on it.
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