The other day I read the following post on someone’s profile wall - “I am me and I won’t change for anyone”. It gave me pause. I wanted to rephrase it to - “I am me and I won’t change for anyone but myself but thank you for the support”.
I am a firm believer that our personalities are pretty set and to change the core of who we are is often beyond possibility. I am a firm believer in living true to who we are and owning our behavior. I also believe though we are not able to change our personalities (being true to who we are) we can change (own) our behavior. The change I speak of is not about fragmenting the core of our true self in order to conform to someone else’s expectations of us but about altering how we communicate, relate to and treat others, all learned behaviors, in order to be heard and seen so that those who are in our lives understand the parts of us that cannot, rather than will not, change.
Unfortunately many of us see a request for change as a desire by those making it to control us. If placed with all sincerity the request is merely someone asking us to give them what they desire from us. It is up to us to decide whether or not we are able to. If we own our behavior we can then choose to remove ourselves from a situation/position that we cannot fulfill and move on with hopes of eventually finding others who communicate and accept how we relate or we can stop and examine what is not working and take the responsibility to change in hopes of opening the path towards what is mutually desired. The choice is ours. If we are true to ourselves and own our behavior either choice is right. Of course what you accept or change and communicate depends on the core of who you are, and there are those who will manipulate what needs to be manipulated without changing in order to benefit from immediate gratification but considering narcissistic or sociopathic behaviors is another Tuesday mental musing that might require tequila…..
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