Tuesday, March 31, 2009
On Thursday, April 2nd, DELLA VALLE , Jay Della Valle and his band, will be performing there to kick off their STACHE BASH 2009 TOUR. Doors open at 8pm, but the band will be going on at about 10:30 PM. If you like good old Rock & Roll and a good time head on over, of course check out the band's Music at their site http://www.dellavallemusic.com/
I think they ROCK!
Monday, March 30, 2009
I once loved a man that used the net to play head games with women. As things were unwinding for us I found out that he collected them like I collect shoes. Finding this out negated anything he may have told me he felt for me or for us. His profile grew to over 89 provocatively posed and posting women vying for the affection and attention the man promised. Of course he didn't conquer all those women, but there were those who believed he was "special" because he made them believe they were "special. He was not up front about what he wanted with anyone. In the end the women that naively believed that they were the only ones he professed such things to were hurt. I don't understand why anyone who has 100s of opposite sex friends mentally masturbating them with provocative posts and promises would think that a man who reflects the same behavior would be sincere, but this post isn't about judging what went down between two adults but about considering what might have happened if the man had been responsible for his behavior.
You may be wondering how, if I was not part of his profile, that I found out about this behavior. Simple, he invited me to be part of it by "mistakenly" sending me invites to his various profiles. Though I declined, in not so nice of a way, I still naively believed we could be friends. The funny thing is that each time I thought I could have a sincere friendship with him the universe delivered more truths, without request I might add, that reminded me of his behavior and of the things I couldn't/wouldn't tolerate, dishonesty and indirectness and his behavior (which was my judgement and isn't what this post is about). The profiles I had discovered weren't private and were accessible to me and to other friends who knew of him and did not hesitate to make me aware of his activities in attempt to get me to stop being so trusting or stupid, depending on what angle you were looking at it from. I recalled who he use to be with me, not who he had become and believed that if I stood my ground he could relate to me respectfully and honestyly, but the more involved he became with his net women the more he treated me as if I were one of them, there to fulfill his fantasy of what women were rather than dealing with me as the individual he had gotten to know. I found myself constantly setting perimeters and trying to direct the conversations from a sexual nature. Maintaining the friendship was exhausting for both of us because we each wanted different things. More importantly I didn't trust him and he did nothing to regain my trust or friendship. Why should he? He had 89 other women to play with. Each time I chatted with him and listened to his "lies" I found myself clicking onto his profiles and was never disappointed to find evidence of his continued behavior. He "admitted" to me that they were "mental ticklers", nothing more and that he had only met one person. I found out later that this was the same line he used with other women who found him out as well.
After some time and much thought about honorable behavior I contacted this man and suggested to him that he set his perimeters from the beginning. I knew he wouldn't change, but being true to his self might save some of the women he hurt. I suggested that he tell each woman that what he wanted was to be mentally masturbated and that their connection would not go beyond a text box or heated phone call. I suggested that he be up front about his love of women and the fact that they would not be the only one he was wooing, reminding them that they too had a bevy of friends to play with. I know it sounds bitchy of me and perhaps a part of me was being a little bitchy. My ego wanted him to know I knew who and what he had become or has always been, I can't tell anymore. Because I knew parts of him to be direct, funny, intelligent and passionate about his work and his life there was a part of me that wondered if he could find honor in his behavior by owning it. I never heard back from him in regards to my suggestions but I suspect that being so honest would never meet his own needs, to win, conquer and prove his intellectual superiority to the women who so naively trust in him.
See I am a firm believer that there is honor in all behavior if one is willing to admit and take responsibility for their behavior by being honest about it. I believe owning your behavior makes you, good or bad, more honorable. I know that this statement can seem like justification for someone's bad behavior but in truth our bad behavior only reflects on us anyway and affects people when they have other expectations of us. The only person we can control is our self. Being honest about our intentions and behavior is that control. If we are direct about our intent others will know exactly who we are and what to expect from us and act accordingly. In turn it gives others the freedom to chose to deal with us or not. Should they accept our behavior knowing what that behavior entails then shame on them when they get hurt because they expected us to be or give more than what we have stated we will give or be. I guess the key is for each of us to take the other person's advice as truth, accept it and understand we can not change them. Only they can choose to change but knowing who they are allows us to accept or reject them accordingly. In the same instance being direct and honest in our intent also allows us the freedom to who we want to be and trust that people are accepting us as we really are. It may also give us the freedom to change our behavior when we realize that it isn't rewarding us with the things/people we desire and is also hurting those we have let into our lives. Of course this would require us to see past our own selfish needs, which is another whole Tuesday Mental Musing's post.
I know this concept is an ideal, one that may or may not be achievable considering the complexity of human nature and behavior, but it is in trying to make the dream reality that make life worth living.
I meditate daily. In the past I sometimes set aside an hour a day to do so, but like most as other activities take center stage in my life the time slips away and I am lucky if I can sit for 15 minutes a day in silence. I find the easiest way to meditate is to sit in silence and be aware of my breathing. Yoga practice aside, I make the effort just to breathe. Inhaling, holding and exhaling to certain count patterns has always worked for me. Sometimes I get adventurous and visualize color, concentrate on an affirmation or the sound of a vowel.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Burning Down the House: Building a Feminist Art Collection
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Recently I have overwhelmed these pages with things to try and buy and places to go and see but I have neglected to share free simple luxuries that don't require spending money, so today's post is about a luxury that won't got you a dime. Today's post is about the luxury of simply putting one foot in front of the other and giving yourself 15-20 minutes a day to walk, simply walk.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
And there are those of us that attempt to find balance and fulfillment by “studying” exotic cultures and belief systems foreign to our own understanding and true ability to accept and live within the boundaries set by those schools of thought and belief systems because they evolved and existed in cultures different from our own. We regurgitate those “teachings” either bastardizing them because of who and what we are or constantly “sharing” them with hopes of salvaging others and perhaps on some level validating those teachings new to us. In the end, regardless of what we tell others and ourselves, we still want to own those things and by publically elevating the exercise, music, art and dance connected to those teachings we push them beyond their purpose of wellness and personal and social expression in hopes of finding the spiritual answer that will make us whole. By doing so we lose sight of the present. We reach beyond a life we aren’t living to the promise of “better days”. This is not to say that fulfillment can’t be found in these pursuits or that these expressions aren’t spiritual but isn’t it funny how trends begin and end up costing us more because of their exoticism?
This observation isn't new. Just another person's observation of constant human behavior. We are products of our times as well as wheels that affect change. If we are living our lives out loud we can’t help but be. I am as guilty as the next person for trying to fit into her "world". I am always trying to balance and not get sucked in or distracted by the "what ifs" or the "maybes" so that I don't lose sight of where I am or what it is I have always wanted with the belief that I know my purpose. I think that this is the norm for all of us and believe that all I can do is continue to try to remain balanced between it all, which is hard when there are so many things whispering and enticing me to lose focus and direction. I guess the key is to balance is to constantly check in and confirm that our reality is based on where and who we are beyond the computer, beyond the clothing and accessories, beyond the classes and hobbies, knowing that all those things make up who we are as well…
Does that make sense?
The Brooklyn Historical Society is located at
Subway: 2,3,4,5 to Borough Hall, R to Court Street, A, C, F to Jay Street.
Friday, March 20, 2009
RSVP - firstname.lastname@example.org
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Have a look at the New York Time's interactive slide show for just a peak at the amazing pieces on display.
The exhibition runs until April 12th.
The Bard Graduate Center Gallery is located at 18 West 86th Street and is open to the public six days a week , Tuesday through Sunday, 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., and Thursday, 11:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Using all sorts of chocolates imported from around the world Ms O'Brien's bonbons are so worth the trip to 36 West 40th Street, (212) 575-0631, even if it's only to buy her confections by the piece, which are sold for 60 cents to $1.25 each.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
The Brooklyn Historical Society at 128 Pierrepont Street at Clinton Street offers those of us that have been here and those of us newly arrived to the borough the opportunity to share some of the history of the area. Located in a landmark building the society, which was established in 1863, honors Brooklyn's past while welcoming in it's future through art exhibitions, talks and workshops. They maintain an extensively researched and archived library of all things Brooklyn and a staff that is beyond helpful in supporting your research efforts.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I often make them on Sundays for breakfast but sometimes they also find their way onto my dinner plate. Accompanied by some mixed greens and multi grain toast points they make a quick elegant week day dinner. "Recipe" as follows -
Ramekin, lightly buttered or oiled
1 Large Egg
Salt & Pepper
Now here comes the creativity -Reach into your refrig for what ever left over meats or veggies you may have and place them in the buttered/oiled ramekin before cracking the egg, salt and peppering and baking the little pot of goodness in a 350F oven until the egg sets, about 20-25 minutes.
One of my favorite versions consists of prosciutto, sliced tomato and cooked asparagus tips. I line the ramekin with the proscuitto, add the sliced tomato, arrange the asparagus tips in a pretty pattern and then crack the egg over it all. Just before the egg sets I remove the little pot from the oven, top with shredded cheese and put it back in for a minute or two for the cheese to melt and bubble.
I also love making them with left over mushrooms, spinach and shredded turkey sausage but to avoid drowning out the sausage flavor I never add cheese to this version. Sometimes when I crave a little Mexican flavor I line the ramekin with a teaspoon of refried black beans, a few slices of avocado and tomato before adding the egg. Once baked I top with salsa verde.
The choice is yours, but keep it simple, I suggest no more than 3 flavors, and you can't go wrong.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
PS - I love your sale prices!